Self Portrait between REPUTATION and CHARACTER

"You cannot lay bare your private soul and look at it. You are too much ashamed of yourself. It is too disgusting. For that reason I confine myself to drawing portraits of others." - Mark Twain 


It has always been my ambition to become a portrait artist. However, as a self taught artist and someone who prefers to be alone, I find it so hard to make a self portrait. 

To make a portrait of someone else, in my opinion, is easier because you are making it with the knowledge of capturing how someone looks like and feel at that moment alone. Where in people, on such cases, "choose to" put on a face they think is the one they would like to show the world. 

Of course, I could also choose to do this but I find it so difficult to pretend and draw at the same time especially if my intention is to make my own portrait as real as possible. No one knows best the real me besides myself. Knowing this, it hinders my intention to capture "all of me", if that is even possible, in just one piece of art. I have to find another way. 

I then realized that though a "face" can be deceiving..."hands" cannot. 

In fact, our hands can tell a lot about ourselves. From our palm lines to the size and shape of our hands, each part holds a special meaning that is specific only to us and our personality. A form of art known as Palmistry is actually the art of telling the future through the study of the palm and it can also teach us a lot about our CHARACTER. 

"If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of these people." - Thich Nhat Hanh 

You see - - Faces shows "what we choose to look like" to control of what others thinks of us - our REPUTATION - Hands shows "who we are" - our CHARACTER 

Bear in mind that Reputation and Character are two very different things. REPUTATION is that which people are believed to be; CHARACTER is that which people are! 

Like Thomas Paine said - "Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us." 

The Vanity project shows and/or includes my hand/s in each piece as my own rendition of a self portrait because I choose to show who I really am through every lines of my hands. 

I have this feeling that this project does not end here as I love drawing hands - I will be creating more as I go along with my life. 

As every piece is unique, to read about the description of each piece, kindly click on the corresponding FAA links on the link below (The Vanity Project Gallery) so as to avoid making this blog any longer ;)

http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/ann-supan.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=474860

***The image (REDEMPTION) I used on this blog is the "reverse" version of the piece MORTALITY***

Art between HAPPINESS and MEANING

" There is NO mystery to happiness.

WONDER WALL
(Olivia Williams inspired)

Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wished denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put away by scorn - or worse indifference - cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn't look ahead. He lives in the present.

But there's the rub. The present can never deliver one thing: meaning. The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a man need only live in the moment; he need only live for the moment. But if he wants meaning - the meaning of his dreams, his secrets, his life - a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future however uncertain. Thus nature dangles happiness and meaning before us all, insisting only that we choose between them. "  (The Interpretation of Murder by Jed Rubenfeld)

I interpret the word insisting on above quotation as an implication that even though nature may "insist" for us to choose between HAPPINESS and MEANING, it does not mean that it's "impossible" for us to have both. 

I think that I cannot "always" have both HAPPINESS and MEANING at the same time but as long as I can find MEANING in my life, I know I'll find HAPPINESS there too "at certain times" no matter how brief or long it lasts.

I know I am happy whenever I make a piece of art simply because I enjoy doing it…but what does that mean? It means… 

- not having enough time for other things which may affect my relationship with others because they don't understand my passion (this includes taking time to make something that is not actually paid for...some people with regular paying jobs just don't understand that). 

- giving people more reasons to criticize me.

- putting my ideas at risk because I cannot be an artist by just locking myself in a room drawing all day. Sharing art in the real word is, indeed, "a double edge sword."

- doubting myself and my artistic abilities because, the truth is, I am not the "best artist" in the world (if there is such a person as "art is subjective"). I am not ashamed to admit that as I know for a fact that there are a lot of great artists out there (living or dead).

- always having the fear of "failing" at what I've always thought I am born to do in this world.

Despite all this, if I must choose, I'll choose MEANING as I'm certain that I cannot totally "just" be happy. I believe, just like any other feelings ( e.g. sadness, grief, etc.), HAPPINESS too shall pass…it always does. MEANING, on the other hand, is definite as it gives us purpose…the reason to live "no matter what". I would rather know that there is a meaning for ALL  the things I've been through in life than to be a happy person by ignoring my past that I cannot "just" forget.  

However, though I choose MEANING, I don't live in the present "entirely" for the benefit of my future because for all I know I may die today. I honestly do not desire a longer life. I just want to "live" the life I'm given by learning from my past and doing the best I can with what I have until the day I stop breathing (period). 


For viewing more artworks from this artist kindly visit "Sketchbook" - https://www.facebook.com/ArtWorks18